SHUT UP!

When did the little voice inside our heads develop so much credibility and expertise that it became the deciding vote? I mean, so often we think about trying something new, standing up with an opinion or idea and then the little voice jumps in. You think it’s a great idea or action, the little voice doesn’t. Who wins out most of the time … the little voice. Why? When did he/she become such a genius. Too often because that voice originates from somewhere deep inside us we think, well, it much be right. Garbage!

Most of the time that little voice is the face of all the things we don’t really like – fears, doubts, procrastination and hesitation. None of these are characteristics we want. They aren’t characteristics of people we want to hang out with or work with. So why do we give any time of day to the little voice?!

Here is my challenge for you. Think of someone you have met or know that you absolutely would never listen to. Maybe its that loud guy at the gym or maybe someone at the office who offers you little value. Maybe its an aunt or someone in your dog walking class. Now assign that little voice in your head their persona. The next time the little voice says you can’t, you shouldn’t, maybe tomorrow, you can see the face of that person you’d never listen to. Under your breath I want you to say, shut up loud gym guy. Shut up office clown. Shut up auntie.

Know that the little voice that holds you back day to day is really no smarter than you. So stop listening and get on with squeezing all the juice out of the orange that is your life.

You Don't Like the Culture?! Create Your Own

I am one of the first people to look around and shake my head at the way people drive, shop, walk and talk. The first one to wonder about the things they buy, watch and consume. I have often taken the next step to voice my confusion, dismay and wonder at people. What are they thinking?! is usually the way it starts or ends.
It occurs to me that I am really not helping the issue with this strategy. I have blogged before about asking the question, what is your personal culture? What are you all about? So what happens when you look up one day and don’t like the culture at work, at home, at the gym or in your city?
I figure you have to start to change it … maybe just a little at a time but we have to make some effort to demonstrate to others that there are other options. Every great shift in a culture or organization starts with someone … so why not you?!
I have started a project that really started with a conversation 2 years ago. Then it became a reoccurring conversation and then a first meeting. Soon it was a bunch of regular meetings and last month it became an active corporation with a mission to give young men a new perspective on what being a man can be. Call it life management for young men – www.markofaman.ca
Now all my shifts are not that significant and really don’t need to be. Sometimes I just don’t participate in conversations that don’t fit my culture – it sends a message. Other times its just an injection of a new opinion or option for people when I hear them struggling with their surroundings.
Most of all, I hope everyone realizes that their participation in a culture they don’t like is optional. Get out and start to create your own. Everyone eats burgers at lunch? Start a “different restaurant each week” culture and see who follows your lead. It can be that easy. Leadership is an easy step like that - consistently.

Pursue It – Just a little every day

I hear lots of people talk about what they are hoping will happen for them in their lives or the positive things that will unfold for them over time. They often talk about the things they are going to do about it or an idea they have to move towards it. Experience tells me they are missing just one small action – a small action!
I have never met anyone that got fit yesterday. I don’t know any people that became great chefs last night. I’ve tried to become a really good dancer and that certainly takes more than one class. But with each class I took I got incrementally better.
There is rarely a goal that is so overwhelmingly complex that we can’t find a little step to take towards it each day. How about becoming a lawyer as a career change? It’s a lofty change and a big step. Now lets take that big step and make it smaller. For starters, lets go online and search for universities that might offer a law program. That one step is good for today. Tomorrow we will look for a comparison of schools and geography so we can narrow it down. The next day we will download an application. The next day we will fill it out. The next day we will look into the LSAT schedule in your area. You get the idea.
Each major breakthrough in your life is rarely a breakthrough but a culmination of the steps you have been taking in that direction for some time. Sure you become a lawyer and walk across the stage and everyone says how it was so fast – but you know it wasn’t. It was hundreds of daily steps.
With each of my major goals I look at them each week and figure out what steps I can take daily to move closer. The timelines for most of my goals have been off, not by much, but still off. The completion rate on my goals is about 96%. Take this approach. Like a staircase, you take one small step at a time and NEVER criticize yourself for how big or small it is. Pursue it today with that little step, and tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Taking Back Your LIfe

How many people you do know that have handed over responsibility for some aspect of their life to a pill, a diet, a professional, a company, a product. We all have in some ways. Its always easier to say that diet didn’t work or my financial planner sucks than to look at how I contribute my success and shortcomings.

It is sobering when you start to take full responsibility for your life. It is also empowering. What if you took full control of your finances and really said you were going to own every penny earned and every penny spent. Statistically your financial situation will only improve. Taking full responsibility for everyone we have or don’t have really does give us new options. It also makes for some tough choices.

As a coach and speaker, I have seen so many people blame outside forces for all for their situations and circumstance. Really the issue is, their acceptance of the situations. I may be here today but with a new plan, new choice or new effort I can change it.

So here is my challenge to you this month. Take the area or aspect of your time that you are most unhappy with. Got it in your mind? Perfect. Now write down 5 things you can do in that area of your life to take more control of it. 5 ideas that give you responsibility back so you can start to improve it. If you have trouble with this one, email me and we’ll work through it together.